I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize