I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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