when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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