Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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