so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
