He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize