just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
