I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
