he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
