His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
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I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
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I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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