Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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