You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
