Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
