Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
