is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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