Yo dont text me then not text me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
