i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
