And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
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he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
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no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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