I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
