Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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