So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
