I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
