Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
did i walk over a car last night?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
