two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
can u get pink eye on your cock?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
