why didn't you poke me back
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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