I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Everyone says I win the strip club
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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