East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We're too hungover to prance.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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