You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
