You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
