dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
