dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She had a baby Jesus butt plug