I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything