i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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