Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
