I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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