I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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