Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
