You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
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No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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