we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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