I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
