They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
