The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
