Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
