Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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