You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
