Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
