If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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