dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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