how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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