Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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