I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
