So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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