I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize