your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize