so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
