I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
