you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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