Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize