We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
