You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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