All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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