I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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