Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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