We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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