forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you inspire me to be a worse person
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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