I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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