just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts